Winter's Desolation
by the.love.that.binds
Summary: At winter's dawn Elena chooses to leave Mystic Falls in desire of her redemption. Death and loss have changed her. Everyone must learn to cope with the hole she has left in their lives. But trouble is stirring in Mystic Falls, as it always has. Lives are put at stake and alliances are tested. The Originals have returned, and a stranger comes to town with a startling past. Set in S4


Grief.

Pain.

Elena's heart was heavy with carrying the burden for so long. It seemed everyone she loved always seemed to get hurt because of her.

And there was that old pain too, like reopening wounds. It bit deep into her skin.

Her lost ones.

Her mother. Her father. Jenna, Alaric, and so many others. Too many others.

_The scars never_ _fade_, she realized. _They're always there, lurking beneath the surface. Waiting to be ripped open again. _

And there was that choice she still had to make. After everything.

Damon_. _Stefan. She always seemed to be hurting them too, one way or the other. _  
_

The never-ending cycle of pain. When would it end?

She had to get away.

Shaking, her breath coming in shallow gasps, she made a phone call.

"Elena. What's wrong?" They were standing in the forest, the dark trees encircling them. There was no wind that made the leaves whisper. Only the sound of dead silence.

"I...wanted to tell you two something."

She glanced up at their hesitant faces. Damon, his deep blue eyes carefully guarded, now chips of cold stone. Stefan, his ember green eyes overcome with concern.

"I...I'm leaving Mystic Falls."

There lay a velvety silence.

Stefan shattered the quiet world. "Where are you off to? How long will you be away?" he murmured, his voice in an undertone, so lowly that without Elena's vampire hearing she wouldn't have heard anything at all.

Elena sighed warily, running a pale hand through her dark locks, threading her fingers throughout the strands. "I don't know yet. All I know is that I have to get away from this town. There's too much sadness here. I can't take it anymore."

He nodded, his jaw clenched. His brow furrowed in understanding. "I guess it's for the best, then."

"I'll leave you two to say your good-byes." Damon's voice was hard, almost cruel. Guarded, as always.

"Damon, wait-"

Elena reached for him but he shrugged her off, turning back into the forest.

She stared sadly after him.

"I'll look after him, make sure he doesn't get into too much trouble," Stefan reassured her gently. She nodded, a lump forming in her throat.

Elena suddenly threw her arms around him. "Whatever you do, please don't give in to the ripper...I know you're better than that, Stefan. You're stronger."

"I know," he whispered. He would try, try only for her.

"Promise you'll take care of Jeremy? And look after Caroline and Bonnie, Matt, Tyler? Tell them I'm sorry, that I love them." Her voice was becoming choked up.

"Promise. I'll do the best I can."

"And please...don't let Damon lose himself."

"I don't want that to happen either." They let go of each other slowly.

"Be careful out there. And know...that I'll always love you, whether you return my love or not." He kissed her forehead lovingly, and he was gone.

Tears were pooling in her eyes, blurring her vision. But she had to see him before she left. "Damon?" she called out softly.

She recognized his familiar presence nearby, a powerful vibe among the forest. She found him leaning against a tree, his back turned to her.

"Damon..." She knew he was sad, and all she wanted to do was erase that pain.

"You don't have to leave, you know." He cleared his throat, "You could just stay here, with me. Or I could come with you. You know I would."

"You know I have to leave anyways, Damon. It hurts too much."

"Losing you hurts more."

Elena shook her head fiercely, brown hair spilling over her shoulders. "Stop it, Damon!" she cried.

He turned to look at her. His eyes were sorrowful.

"Stop making me want to stay..."

"Then stay." He strode over to her, taking her hands in his. "_Stay."_

Silver tears cascaded down her face. She turned and started to walk away.

"Elena," he choked. She turned and removed her vervain necklace. She placed it gently in his hands.

"I can't be selfish with you, Damon. I can't tear you and your brother apart."

"You're leaving because of your pain, or because of us?" he challenged.

"Both," she said softly. She smiled regretfully at him as she turned to leave. A light dusting of white powder coated her jacket. As if in a dream, she stared up above.

"It's winter," she whispered. The sun glinting though the cracks in the trees caught the snowflakes as they floated in their angelic descent.

"Before it ends I'll have returned."


End file.
